inspiring and mind-clearing speech
GoodMorning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to
you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving
the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become
something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days
in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one
of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your
stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be
like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about.
I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly
alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining.
Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where
do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old
twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them
jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A
story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for
birthday party â€" several months in advance â€" just for the day they
will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades.
People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and
bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second
half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the
spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is
nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to
guard against storms.
To
nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and
achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is
possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to
company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are
from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success
and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force
everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't
the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up
for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore.
Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold
Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes
them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy.
They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If
you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to
interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you
practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you
cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level.
Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a
random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be
happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are
you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or
academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I
use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your
health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There
is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is
no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable
if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far,
life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run
with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there
is no point coming first.
Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your
striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you
may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited
and alive, will start to die.
One
last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One
of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One
student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the
yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere.
This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my
job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions
on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense
criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how
will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really
temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If
we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500
weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few
classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not
programmed devices.
I've
told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too
seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms
in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must
be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness
and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment
will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If
things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely
difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this
failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel
miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers
rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades
â€" how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But
it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment'
s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been
frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially
relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve,
sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the
right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I
thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took
me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement,
and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a
bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the
time involved â€" movies take a long time to make even though they are
watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result
â€" at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan
â€" I had my third book to write and even something as simple as
pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help
you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously.
Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness
- this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our
country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces,
pedigree find it easier to make it â€" not just in Bollywood, but
everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few
opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to
make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement
in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and
ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people
luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and
understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by
Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the
strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers
that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get
literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have
two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let
unfairness kill your spark.
Finally,
the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older
you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice
cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot
like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique.
What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be
different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict
as your goals may not match with others.And you may drop some of
them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball
by the time they have their second child. They give up something that
meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that,
the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first,
and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four
thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation.
You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your
life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to
not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone
gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college.
But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the
same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only
through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not
just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really
need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something
cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
posted by maxi @ 9:25 AM
